FOH at Large

The idiomatic phrase “This is not Madison Square Garden,” when directed at an audio company, sends a universal meaning that is not bound by either state lines or time zones. While I am certain that the names of other major event institutions have been employed in the same allegorical fashion as Madison Square Garden, it appears that evoking the image of this iconic venue epitomizes all that is grand and glamorous in the concert world. Though I am New York-based and have often worked at “The Garden,” I have also done shows in almost every state and have traveled ex-tensively around the globe. Regardless of where I go, the aforementioned axiom keeps popping up.

An engineer friend of mine, who is now retired from the business, started his audio career in the early 1970s and spent most of the ensuing 30 years traveling throughout the world mixing front of house and monitors. As well as being an excellent engineer, he is endowed with a charismatic charm, wit and a talent for networking. He was in with the rock ‘n’ roll elite and always worked with top name acts in the business.

The AES convention is the feeding frenzy of the audio world. Like sharks to chum, audiophiles from the world over descend upon the caucus and devour the newest, the latest and the yet-to-come of the best that audio manufacturers can offer. It is a feeding frenzy catering to the most basic needs of any gear-head. As exhilarating as it is overwhelming in its enormity, the experience of AES truly has the feel of a school of sharks gorging themselves on the massive body of a whale until they are overly satiated by their own gluttony and can do nothing but float belly-up in a stupor. Each year seems to bring more vendors, newer products and, in short, more bells and whistles. While many products are just the same old offerings in a new package, there are always the new designs, add-ons and plug-ins that make the convention exciting and worthwhile. 

I recently returned from a trip to Cancun, Mexico, and other than the tequila and the beautiful beach, my most memorable day was one spent at Chichen-Itza, site of one of the well-known Mayan pyramids in the Yucatan Peninsula. The Pyramid of King Kuku lkán, the serpent god, is the centerpiece of the area and dates back to about A.D. 1100. This spectacular pyramid showcases the astronomical, architectural and political brilliance of its creators. During the autumn and spring equinox, due to the position of the sun, one can still witness a shadowy snake moving impressively down the north stair. The story is told that the priests, because of their precise knowledge of the seasons, would come out and address the masses assembled below the pyramid and tell them when to expect rain. The arrival of the rain on the predicted date would cement the priest’s claim that he had a direct line to god who, in the form of the bird-serpent Quetzalcoatl, lived in the temple built on top of the pyramid. The proof of Quetzalcoatl’s alliance with the priests was that if someone clapped their hands at the bottom of the pyramid, the returning echo is a sound similar to the quack of a duck.  

The great thing about teaching is that it helps you organize thoughts into cohesive ideas. The other day, while I was imparting my vast storehouse of knowledge to some up-and-coming engineers, I mentioned that there are a few different approaches to creating a live mix and that for the most part, barring any real technical faux pas, if a method is found that works, then it’s right.

It amazes me how many accountants and personal secretaries are placed in a position to oversee the success of extremely high profile events. I also find it stupefying that some executive, somewhere, makes plans to have an obscenely extravagant event to tout some fabulous product or charity, hires some incredibly famous star as a host and then tops it off by employing an even more extraordinary celestial body as the evening's entertainment. This same executive then goes out and books a venue based upon it's trendy status without giving a second thought in regard to how the event will be staged or managed and then, because the event is so important to the success of his company, he makes sure that guest list reads like a Who's Who of the New York City society page.

December 31, 2006, 8 p.m. Four more hours, and I will be heralding in a new year with hope, faith, renewal, good cheer and great expectations for the next 365 days. I have resolved to transform my negative behavior into a positive force that will change the world and enrich all of mankind. Believe you me, I have some lofty ideals for a guy who is home alone on New Year's Eve, but it wasn't always like this. As a matter of fact, I took great satisfaction in my own personal record of having worked 15 straight New Year's Eve events. Quite frankly, it was a matter of pride to know that I had a gig on New Year's Eve, since the money was always good and the party always fun, but in 1999 I decided that it was more important to welcome in the New Year with my family than to be out mixing a show and drinking with strangers. Ironically, seven years later, my teenage kids are out at parties, and my wife, who is an OB-GYN, is on call delivering babies, which means that I will be welcoming in the new year with my computer and a cold beer. That said, I probably won't even make it past 11:00, but that's OK, since I now take pride in the fact that I have not taken any New Year's work for the past seven consecutive years. Things change.