FOH at Large

Those of us in the smaller audio companies do not usually have the luxury of loading into a shed or theater that is set up specifically for musical and theatrical performance. A good portion of the venues we end up working are spaces where audio and lighting are less than a primary consideration. They are a mere afterthought – if any thought was put in that direction at all. A good motto for all of us who are caught in this predicament might be, "Bringing audio where it doesn't belong." It's not pretty, but someone has to do it.

Another year is coming to a close, and history has been made. Triumph, tragedy and everything in between have been expressed as we speed forward into the great unknown of the year to come, zooming one year closer to the ominous and looming 2012. Will the little planet that could be able to stave off the apocalyptic cataclysm that will seemingly engulf us all, or will the valiant people of the third rock from the sun be able to ward off the rapidly approaching end by some great uplifting heroic effort?

The Broadway singers were singing, the costumed dancers were dancing, I was mixing, and the whole shtick was extremely campy and very much like the big musical numbers with Carmen Miranda from a 1940s Busby Berkeley cinema extravaganza.

About seven years ago, my mother decided to move into a retirement community and has been living there ever since that momentous decision. I say momentous only because most decisions my mother makes come after long hours, days and months of weighing all her choices and options concerning the required decision. She is meticulous in her research regarding her preferences and all the alternatives are explored in depth, again and again, over and over until she manages to narrow the fine point to a very fine point.

E-mail is a great work tool, and at this point in time, I cannot even imagine doing business in a world without the service. After all, what would one do without the solicitations to enlarge their manhood or to please every woman by lasting longer in bed? Fortunately, just like every other guy who gets these wonderful offers, I am not in need of what these artful entrepreneurs are selling. Therefore, these e-mails get deleted and sent to my computer's hard drive trash bin, along with every additional piece of digital junk that filters through my spam protector.

Years ago, when I was getting out into the world, I belonged to a community of idealistic people that was sure to change the world. Armed with an inherent knowledge of our righteousness; driven by the words of Bob Dylan, the Beatles and other well-known mystics and fueled by psychotropic substances, we set out on a "Magical Mystery tour" of self discovery and change. We courted and joined with mystics from the East, we marched for civil rights, and we were elevated by Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech; we challenged fashion and were thus, fashionably challenged.

As audio engineers, we spend hours of our time learning and mastering the technical aspects of how to create the perfect mix. We seek out and apply new technologies to enhance the sound in any given space as we experiment with innovative techniques of taking sound where it often does not belong.

Installs! You have got to be kidding! Local sound companies are going out of business because some guys insist on installing great audio gear into rooms that were once empty palates that longed to be titillated by the taste of audio.

When troubleshooting a problem, one must first ascertain the dilemma and give a proper diagnosis before trying to find a solution. In the case of live audio, we rely upon our experience to enable us to locate and resolve the matter as quickly as possible.

On a gig, if one of the audio components should fail and thereby cause a loss of sound, the audience doesn't care which part of the system is to blame for the problem – they only know that there is something wrong and it needs to be fixed. As the engineer or system tech, you are the one responsible for finding out if it is a bad cable, amplifier or speaker at the root of the failure and repairing the problem.

Other than a slight headache, Rick was feeling pretty good, considering he drank 10 beers and two shots before leaving the bar at 3 a.m. He should have realized that the only reason the waitress was flirting with him was to sell him more beer and to generate a larger tip. "You would think I'd know better after 34 years on this planet," he said to himself as he walked into his small bathroom.

As I am writing this article, it is that time of year once again. As you are reading this article, that time of year is already on the wane. But despite my inability to plan ahead so that you might be able to read a timely piece of poignant journalism, let me be one of the last to say "Happy New Year."