My two combined nightmares both deal with my band — supplying a P.A. to my own band and not having them help. As any anklebiter will tell you, it may not be a lot of gear, but it’s sure not a little, either! I need help to set up, and my band sure didn’t want to help out. As soon as I got to the gig the whining started. “That’s too much P.A. gear, Dave. You won’t need it all.”
So if they didn’t know what a piece of gear was for they flat-out refused to help build the bits they didn’t think they needed (or much of anything else, for that matter). Then, as I tried to put my gear together they all crowded the desk to get “their” sound. And the result? We got one column placed directly behind the mics, and there was absolutely no sound check.
Any guesses on what happened next?
1 – 2 – 3 – 4
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Down goes the volume. The punters can’t hear the vocals. Neither can we.
The singer — who is “experienced” — had been at the desk. She dialed in a shedload of 2K — which, of course, turned out to be the feedback freq. — and pushed the gain to the clipping point.
At the break, while the rest of my band grabbed a drink and ate the promised meal, I rebuilt the rig and moved the stacks to the right places so we could have decent sound. But it ain’t over yet . . .
The singer booked the gig on the presumption that it was three 45-minute sets, but she miscounted. Actually, it was four 45-minute sets. So it’s getting late, but we’ve somehow made such a success of it that the organizer wanted to pay for a fifth set. Fair enough. Unfortunately, this meant the show didn’t end until midnight. My bandmates all cried “Last train,” and ran to catch the tube. This left me, my girlfriend and the drummer behind to pack up and load out — up two flights of stairs and down the London sidestreets.
As I drove home, I did the math: 30 minutes to load the transport, a one hour drive, one hour to load in and set up, a five hour gig, one hour load out, one hour home and a half-hour pack away. 10 hours.
Dave Potter
Hatfield, Herts, U.K.
Gigs from Hell. We’ve all had ‘em and the good folks at FOH want to hear about yours. Write it up and send it to us and we’ll illustrate the most worthy. Send your nightmares to nightmares@fohonline.com, or fax them to 702.932.5584.
