Every event has a budget. Whether it is a speech for 20 people or for 20,000 people, a children’s birthday party or a concert at an amphitheater, a one-off or a long tour, make no mistake about it there is always a bottom line. We in the FOH community spend many discerning hours reading, learning and debating about which company provides the best products, the technical aspects of said merchandise and the proper ways in which to use these commodities. It is our job to know impedance, phasing, frequencies, speaker placement, microphone placement and coverage as well as how to set up and use the equipment to achieve the best results for its intended purpose. When a client calls upon us to provide audio for their event we have to know which equipment to bring and how to design the system that best suits their needs.
In a Perfect World
If one knows his or her gear and its capabilities then — in a perfect world — choosing the proper system and the technical application of the equipment for any event becomes an exercise in easy — in a perfect world! As we all know by now, perfection is a hard goal to achieve, and in so many cases, we settle for the next best thing, which is, unfortunately, imperfection. Let me qualify this statement by saying that I am not implying that the equipment or the application of the equipment is less than perfect, but that our technology and technical abilities do not exist in a vacuum and are inexorably tied in with the business we are trying to build or — at the very least — maintain.
The audio business is a competitive world, and unless one is independently wealthy and indifferent to making a living, then providing a service at a fair market rate — while still making a profit — should be the primary goal of any company, large or small. One of my bosses described his business plan as such: “If a client has a bag of money to spend, we want him to give it to us.” Granted, this is not necessarily an original business plan, but quite elegant in its brevity. The problem — and there always is a problem even with the most luminous of plans — is how to implement this simple arrangement.
Considering the concise tone of this particular business plan, it would appear that a shillelagh to the back of the client’s head in a dark ally would give one sufficient time to grab his bag of money and make a getaway. Unfortunately, as we all should know, the knock, grab and run approach is old-school audio and doesn’t lend itself to repeat customers. Therefore, while bidding on a show can be a tricky proposition, it seems that it is still imperative to give the best service for a fair and competitive market rate unless, of course, one is a confidential service provider in Iraq or a private contractor on Wall Street.
More For Less
Regrettably, due to a slow down in the economy, it seems that there is an ever-growing increase in the amount of event planners looking for a “more-for-less” type of arrangement when putting together their shows. Shocking as it may seem, since the “grab-the-bag-of-money” business plan is not an overly unique idea, it has apparently been co-opted by every sound company from sea to shining sea, thus leaving us all in a position of desperate compromise. Short of employing the shillelagh technique of negotiation, we of the entrepreneurial persuasion must rise to the challenge of learning to read our clients better than we have in the past.
The days of turning a client’s plea, “I need a microphone for 500 people” into a sizable audio package is gone. Now what we get is the client calling up and thinking that they can sneak one by us by starting the conversation with: “I’m planning a little event and I need a basic sound system. Nothing too fancy, just a basic system.” Ok, I get it. “Little” and “basic” are buzzwords for cheap. No frills, just a “basic system.” I get it. “Tell me more, how big is the band and how many people will be attending?” “It’s just a small four-piece band with a horn or two,” says the prospective client, “and there will only be about 800 people in the audience, but they’re only little people. You know, your small, basic type of event.”
“I know exactly what you want,” I reply. “Instead of the gold, diamond-encrusted speakers, I’ll give you the basic black speakers with a small digital console instead of the holographic, laser-controlled, GPS, 400-horsepower console. “Look dumb-ass,” I want to yell, “Let’s cut to the chase — just how big is your bag of money? Just give me the bag of money and you can have whatever you like.” Desperation makes for strange bedfellows.
A Smaller Bag of Money
Given the state of the economy, I am pretty sure that this scenario is being played out all across the country, although I sometimes wonder if the bigger companies have to suffer through the same indignities that the smaller companies do. For example, if the Pope was coming back to America in today’s financial climate, I imagine that, as always, he would give Mike Wolf a call at CLAIR. I can only assume that the tone of the conversation might be a little different than it’s been in the past considering, just like everyone else who is feeling the economic sting, that even the Pope has a smaller bag of money.
“Hey Mikey, it’s the Pope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Benedict, how are you? Listen, I’m doing a small event at Yankee Stadium and I need a basic sound system for only about 50,000 or 60,000 people. Just a few speeches, a little mass, a few bands, you know, the standard stuff. Mikey, you know black speakers don’t do it for me. No, I think we should go with the gold and maybe put them on the roof of the stage. It’s gonna cost me, huh? How much more for the gold? OK, OK, we’ll go with the gold, but this time use the paint instead of the 14 karat. Do you think we can get by with four stacks instead of six? Nah, that won’t be good if they can’t hear, so go with the six stacks. Can they be half stacks? OK, OK, Mikey, you’re killing me. What? You want some line arrays, too? Mikey, the budget is way over the top and I have to cut bzack somewhere. OK, OK, but Mikey you gotta understand, I do a bigger mass in my own backyard. I know, I know, it’s New York and the world is watching, but do you know what the grounds crew is costing me? Do we need so many monitors? They won’t? So, we get the monitors. Mikey, show a little compassion will ya, do you know what it costs to drape Yankee Stadium in white?
Look Mikey, I wouldn’t lie to you, but the cost of this system is a little much. Maybe I should just use the in-house system… hey, if it was good enough for Gehrig. No, no Mikey, I’m just kidding, take it easy. OK, so we’ll go with the six stacks of gold-painted speakers on the roof, some line arrays, all the monitors, some microphones, cables, yada, yada, yada. Are you sure we need both consoles — can’t we do it all from one? OK, OK, you win, all the equipment, but do we need so many stagehands? Maybe we can cut back on the labor. These guys at Local #1 are killing me and the union labor seems a little over the top if you know what I mean. Why not spread the wealth around? You know, get a few homeless guys on the crew who might want to make a buck or two. Yeah, I know we have only 48 hours to get the whole thing up and running, but it’s an easy load-in, it’s all ramps, no stairs. Rolls right in, right there at home plate. It’s your basic, easy load-in. OK Mikey, calm down, we’ll take the union stagehands, but do I still get my 20% discount? No Mikey, it’s always been 20%. That’s right, and remember, we’re tax exempt, too. Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, I’ll get you a certificate.”
