Years ago, as a teenager, a friend and I went to a party hosted by an acquaintance from another school. Other than our mutual contact, we knew no one from the other school, which was a little intimidating, but a party was something to do on a nice spring night and, of course, the thought of meeting new girls was always a lure for our young bodies and feverish imaginations.
Unfortunately, my friend Jay, who went with me to the party, was a bit of a wise guy, and somewhere along the way he managed to aggravate one of the guys from the other school. Before long we found ourselves running down the street being chased by about ten very angry guys from this other school. After a bit of a chase, they finally caught up with us and pinned Jay on the hood of a parked car. I had no idea what Jay had done, but they kept telling him to apologize or they would give him a severe beating.
Having 10 angry guys ganging up on us was a bit daunting, yet it wasn’t quite as threatening as it might seem, considering that the angry crowd was from a good private school and, back in the day, 14-year-old private school kids were not usually armed with much more than their hormonal rage. Nonetheless, 10 indignant guys against one wisecracking guy and his clueless friend was indeed a bit daunting so, when the leader of the private school vigilante squad demanded Jay apologize to his friend, Jay agreed and they let him stand up.
“Apologize for calling my friend an A-hole,” the leader commanded. As I said, Jay was a bit of a wisenheimer, but mostly because he could not help from saying the silent parts out loud. Jay straightened himself up and said, “It’s true, I don’t deny calling him an A-hole, but just look at him; doesn’t he look like an A-hole?” I’m not sure if it was Jay’s brazen attitude that stunned them into immobility or if they just lost interest in the chase or if they actually agreed with Jay’s assessment of their friend, but we managed to get away and somehow survive our teenage years.
Silent Speech
Saying the silent part out loud is not something I usually do, but I recently found myself doing just that when I told my client not to worry about the music portion of her event because I was used to doing stupid gigs and making them work. Realizing my gaffe, I immediately backpedaled and told her that my statement was said with all loving deference and I was in no way implying that her fabulous event was anything but, well, fabulous. Unfortunately, there was no way of taking it back or ameliorating my statement. I had done the unthinkable for anyone in my position while navigating the slippery slope of event planning — I had said the silent part out loud.
The event itself was set to be an amazing affair. A 50th birthday party given by a loving husband for his wife and set in the grand ballroom of New York’s magnificent Mandarin Hotel with sweeping views of Columbus Circle and Central Park South. To celebrate with them, as the birthday girl reached her jubilee year, they had invited about 150 of their closest friends for dinner and drinks. The entertainment was to be provided by the esteemed Marianne Bennett Orchestra (MBO), an 18-piece ensemble specializing in popular music. To make the night even more spectacular, a special concert was to be given by the honoree’s favorite band, Cage the Elephant (CTE).
Lovely to Look at, But…
Most event planners I have worked with are great at finding beautiful and unique settings for their events. They find amazing chefs and design elaborate and beautiful sets to surround the guests as they eat from beautiful plates with stunning flatware. They make sure that the flower arrangements are perfectly placed and the lighting is sexy and flattering to all the beautifully dressed guests.
Finally, after they have allotted their full budget, it dawns on them that they need a sound system. While these planners may be good at hiring entertainment that frequents their world and caters to society parties, they are out of their realm when it comes to staging a concert with a Grammy award-winning rock band, and that’s when I get the call. Unfortunately, I don’t get notified until about two weeks before the event, and by that time, they have already solidified their floor plan, room layout and schedule, which I am bound to destroy.
Events such as these are planned months in advance, so if I get the last-minute call, I already know I’m stepping in somebody else’s waste. It makes no difference how many conference calls I sit in on or how much I explain to the event team the moves and hardware required to ensure success, they remain committed to their original plan and concept, which is loosely based on the reality of the situation.
While the event planners have very specific requirements, CTE and MBO also have riders to be filled to make their shows work. Of course, the talent can’t be faulted for their demands and the planner has planned the event perfectly, which leaves me — the audio company — to shoulder the blame for ruining months of preparation. For me, the silent part becomes the (uncaged) elephant in the room.
In this situation, to satisfy the bands and expedite the changeovers, I brought in a d&b audiotechnik V system consisting of four V8 boxes on top of two V subs per side. Sidefills were one d&b M4 wedge over one V sub per side and there were eight M4 wedges on stage for monitors. For wireless gear, we provided 20 channels of PSM1000 in-ear monitors and 12 channels of Shure Axient AD2 wireless mics. Outfills and center fills were d&b M6 wedges. The bands had their own engineers for FOH and monitors, and they were each provided their own console. FOH consoles were Midas Pro2 for CTE and a Pro2c for MBO.
At the monitor position, both engineers were given DiGiCo SD10 consoles, and we had two split snakes on stage with disconnects for a quick changeover. We also provided a full backline for both bands with one set of drums being shared. Each person in my crew knew what they had to do and executed their moves perfectly along with the crew from each band. The event was a huge success, with CTE putting on a great show and MBO keeping everyone dancing.
Epilogue
The only mistake was me saying the silent part out loud to my client. However, quite frankly, if I was chased down the street by an angry mob of event planners and told to apologize for my indiscretion, I would probably give the same apology my friend Jay offered up many years ago.
