All too often, we get a call for the infamous "Microphone for 500 people" and then patiently explain to the prospective client what that entails in the real world of audio. As tedious as these calls can be, taking the time to discern exactly what the client is attempting to achieve and building a system around their needs and desires is what we do.
Since the client has no clue as to what the job necessitates, the job becomes to figure out what will work best for the buyer to ensure their event is a huge success. Unfortunately, the audio company is one of the last ones to get called for many events. By the time the client realizes their audio needs, the audio company ends up having to back in to the event and disrupt all the great planning already in progress. It's a challenge, but it's how we make our living.
Long-Term Gold
Being able to pick and choose the shows to get involved with is a luxury not always afforded audio companies. Therefore, when the phone rings and there is a client on the other end asking for the impossible or the improbable, its our job to rise to the occasion and make it work; keeping in mind that there is a pot of gold waiting for us at the end of the client's rainbow. Regrettably, what waits in so many cases is just a cup of silver, or merely the light at the end of the event tunnel – although sometimes you will luck out and have it rain pennies from heaven. Regardless of the remuneration, work is work. It is very hard not to take the call – especially while the phone is still ringing. But does it mean you should do any gig that comes along just because there's money to be made? Are there no discernable criteria other than money to do a show? When do we JUST SAY NO?
The Gray Areas
Sometimes it's easy to JUST SAY NO – if someone calls specifically for gear not in the inventory, or for an event beyond our capability, then it's an easy call. However, there are other times when the temptation to grab the bag of cash starts to cloud better judgment, and the promise of additional income is not worth the costs. Even those with normally-high aesthetic ideals might feel tempted to compromise those ideals in an effort to secure the gig. I've felt that same pull. But although I recognize the value of earning a living, I have found there are criteria I have to adhere to.
As discussed in a previous column, there's no such thing as "Fast, good and cheap." Of the three ideals, only two are available at any given time. So if I'm unable to dissuade the client of going for the implausibility of all three, then my obligation is to JUST SAY NO. When there is heavy gear involved, JUST SAY NO to stairs. Even if we're known for bringing sound where it doesn't belong, there are just some venues to which you have to JUST SAY NO! If the specter of imminent doom is attached to the event rider; JUST SAY NO! This can be anything from poor scheduling to ridiculous or fanciful audio/production demands. Don't JUST SAY NO without trying to sort out the various aspects of the production that seem in doubt. But if it seems to have exhausted all reasonable solutions without getting any closer to a comfortable resolution, then I have absolutely no compunction about advising, "JUST SAY NO!"
Renting equipment to a client is one thing. It's just gear. It can be delivered and even set up. As long as it works, then the job has been done successfully. Unfortunately, with audio gear, even the smallest systems require a technician to mix the show. In many cases, these shows can require more pre-production diligence before going into the line of fire at the event. Remember, if one part of a show fails, in the eyes of the client, everyone on the audio team failed. Usually, the people who have weathered these storms are a bit more wary about just grabbing the bag of money.
Laying the Groundwork
It's important to enhance your chance for success right from the first call. Many clients wouldn't build a house by disregarding the advice of their architect. When it comes to sound, though, they feel that it's no big deal.
A client recently called to do a gig at one of the trendy, but impossibly small, New York nightclubs. Having been to the room a number of times for a variety of events, I knew what was needed for a successful event. The rider sent over was for a well-known band with a roster of six or seven people, with six mixes of wedges and a boatload of backline gear. The problem was, the area allotted for the stage only allows for a 12-by-8-foot platform. My first response was to JUST SAY NO; and I did JUST SAY NO.
Unfortunately, the client didn't take NO for an answer, and demanded a quote. The club requested a quote, and the manager of the band requested a quote. So I gave them a quote. They hated it. There was no labor on it, only equipment. I told them what they asked for was unreasonable. I showed them their own rider, pointing out the drummer alone had an 8-by-8-foot riser. With overall stage space limited to 12 feet by 8 feet, that meant the rest of the band would need to be squeezed onto a 4-by-8-foot riser. It was an impossible production demand. They wanted to "show me the money." They couldn't understand why I wouldn't take it and run. I would've liked to have pocketed the cash, but when they asked how they could make this work, the answer was either to do an acoustic three piece band or have the singer sing to tracks with the house system. After a few weeks of going back and forth with all involved parties, they decided the singer would sing to tracks with the house system. I wanted to empty their pockets. I really did. But looking back, I'm happier that I was able to JUST SAY NO.
