An audio engineer friend of mine sent me this item from Wundergroundmusic.com: “Sound engineering has officially been declared the grumpiest profession in the world at this week’s International Jobs Summit in Tokyo, Japan. According to the keynote speaker, Steven Jobless, “sound engineers have reached a level of grumpiness only previously seen in roles held by post-Internet librarians and a specific member of the Seven Dwarves.
“The grumpiness of sound engineers almost definitely stems from the fact that about 99 percent of them are failed musicians and DJs,” explained Jobless. “They’ve hung onto their dreams by staying close to their desired profession, much like a child will wear a football kit to a football match hoping that by some fluke of nature they’ll be asked to come on as second half substitute, and in the process they’ve built a level of resentment similar to that of fat security guards who didn’t make the police. Sound mixing booths and DJ boxes are both highly stressful environments so when we mix the stress with the resentment felt for the actual artists we get a level of working environment stress that is far greater than any other profession,” continued Jobless.
Other notable extracts from the summit say “barmen declared the drunkest profession in the world, bankers the most likely profession to steal from the public and politicians and senior management civil servants the most likely profession to be aliens or lizard people.”
Grumblers In Our Midst
Although there may be a semblance of truth in this obviously satirical piece of writing, the author could easily be accused of calumny for the denigration of a well-respected profession in the entertainment world. While I might take issue with these hurtful-though-humorous allegations, it would be hypocritical of me to malign the writer of this commentary considering that, a few years back, I too wrote about the grumblers in our midst. (See “Whistle While You Work,” FRONT of HOUSE, July 2012.) Therefore, let me say that I am not disagreeing with the tongue-in-cheek portrayal of our brethren-in-sound, but merely suggesting that one would be remiss to believe that audio engineers are the only malcontents within our industry. Let’s not overlook the drum techs, keyboard techs, guitar techs, production and tour managers as well as the staging and lighting persons that populate the touring industry with their own well-developed grouchy demeanor.
Just to be clear, misery and the reporting of the same is not only reserved for the technicians of our fine industry, as the reported malaise is far reaching. For example, it’s a recognized fact that promoters and club owners are well-known complainers in their own right with prime box seats in the bellyacher’s section. While I am throwing stones — let it be known that if an earful of vitriol and angst is something that gets your motor running, it is crucial to try riding shotgun with your bus driver on the next 300-mile overnight drive from one gig to another.
Most people on the control side of the console play an instrument. For that matter, most everybody in the touring business is a musician of varying degrees. Unfortunately, not everyone who picks up an instrument can be a full-time professional musician and, as a testament to the complexity of having a musical vocation, it’s even difficult for many professional musicians to work at their craft full time. While talent and skill are both important factors in the equation regarding a successful musical career, there are also other considerations that have deterred even the best players from pursuing music as a full time occupation. From doctors and lawyers to scientists and house painters, there are a slew of musicians that have accepted their playing as an avocation rather than having to depend upon the capriciousness of a musical career. It’s no surprise, then, that so many aspiring or even realized musicians gravitate to the technical side of the microphone to live at least close to the dream if not the dream itself. Unfortunately, while the technical side can often offer more financial stability, the world of live engineering is not without challenges of its own.
Do You Have What It Takes?
This brings me to the question “Do you have what it takes to be a live engineer?” It’s a question that’s never asked, but always in the back of my mind while interviewing potential candidates for work as audio engineers. Most of people I interview come with resumes espousing that they write and play music, which they produce in their own studios using Pro Tools, Logic or some equally impressive software. They have an audio engineering degree from one of the accredited audio schools and are usually proficient in the use of a soldering gun. Generally these are all good skills to have under one’s belt, but these technical skills alone do not necessarily prepare someone for a life of mixing live shows and events.
Usually the curmudgeonly attitude associated with the unhappy soundperson starts after the first rainy day load-in or the first time mixing in the hot sun without a tent. Long days with an early start and a late finish are enough to turn one’s mood ring black, and poor planning on behalf of the promoter doesn’t help to elevate one’s sense of joy and happiness. Inadequate equipment in awkward spaces makes for a less than ideal circumstance, and tends to send even the mellowest audio engineer into a very dark place.
We complain, but rightfully so. Extensive waiting periods during the day and extended nights on the bus can make for a disparaging tour — not to mention lead singers who manage to tame their own demons by torturing you, the monitor engineer. Despite one’s training and technical knowledge, all of the attempted explanations to help said singer understand the physical limitations of on-stage audio falls on deaf ears… literally. Quite often, dealing with the politics of a jealous, insecure or despotic tour manager is enough to make one want to fall on their own sword or — at the very least — self-medicate until numb.
Unless one has reached the higher echelon of engineering, they will find that their 401K plan is as non-existent as their pension plan. Per-diems barely cover the daily requirements and — while the traveling can be fun at times — it does not lend itself to a solid home or family life. So yes, we complain, and it’s our prerogative, because when we signed on for this career, we didn’t realize that the engineering is quite often the least of the skills and aptitude required for the job.
