An engineer with whom I shared mixing responsibilities had an interesting way of seeing and expressing the technical world in which we audio people exist. To him everything was “sexy” or had “sex appeal” and, depending upon his own personal interpretation, a good mix, or great sounding reverb, was either of the two. While I never quite understood the difference — or if there were one — I would like to believe that he was speaking metaphorically and not literally about objects and things that are sexually neutral. Regrettably, in this ever-expanding world of strange that we call home, I am hard pressed to assume anything about my fellow man despite my unflagging optimism. Regardless, his “sexy” descriptions of sound equipment and their associated sounds confused me at first because as much as I enjoy and like certain audio gear, my lustful urges are oriented elsewhere. Wine and Guitars
Although it has been close to 20 years since I have seen or worked with him, the aforementioned engineer recently came to mind when I saw the cover of the recently released Guitar Aficionado magazine titled “The Wine Issue.” My ex-audio partner’s figurative description of “sexy” came to mind as I viewed a guitar-shaped carafe being filled with what I would assume to be a great red wine. Imprinted over a half-filled glass of red wine were such teasers as “Beck ‘54 Esquire,” “Clapton the fool SG,” “Page ‘59 Les Paul” and “Lennon Ric 325-12.” As I said before, my lustful urges are not best expressed through audio gear, but in my world, this month’s Guitar Aficionado is just pure pornography. My love of these two items goes back quite a few years to a time when vintage wines and vintage guitars were still somewhat affordable to the common man. Unfortunately, at this point, I have parted ways with the few vintage guitars and amplifiers I managed to collect, and I have imbibed all the vintage wines with no hope of replenishing either commodity. The loss is immeasurable, but even without a proprietary interest, the appeal of the two items has not abated.
To be fair, there are many “sexy” wines and guitars in today’s market, but neither has the sex appeal of the older vintages, and while I would be hard-pressed to compare the “sexy” of audio gear to the “sexy” of guitars and wine, it is not beyond my ken to see that a great tube preamp might have more “sex appeal,” to an audiophile, than a transistor-based preamp, or that the newest line array is ergonomically “sexy.” Now that I really think about it, a new 48-channel digital console with all the bells and whistles — though lacking the same body and curves of a great guitar or wine — has its own intrinsic “sexy” that cannot be denied. This is not to say that a Midas XL4 or a Clair S4 rig is not sexy, but I liken them to the aging film star whose “sexy” has been replaced by a younger and newer model, whereas the older wines and guitars just keep getting better as they mature.
Fantasizing Audio
Anyway, there is no accounting for taste, and “sexy” has never been a one-size-fits-all description, but now that I am fantasizing audio, I must say that while I have yet to use one, there are a few digital consoles on the market that seem pretty damn sexy the way they light up when they see me. Also, there are a few “sexy” line array systems that are producing big, beautiful, sonically rich tones that warm the cockles of my heart. A few tube preamps are on the market that I consider to have quite the “sex appeal” as well as certain microphones which I would also place in the “sexy” category. There are even a couple of plugins that exude a digital sex appeal, but these are the easy- to-see items with a blatant “sex appeal’ that, when used properly, enable us to attain a “sexy” mix. But what about the non-expendable items that we use on a daily basis that are not intrinsically “sexy”?
These non-“sexy” pieces are often the indispensable tools of our trade, such as amplifiers, cables, road cases, power supplies, feeder cables, snakes, fly ware and motors, but though a case can be made by gear heads for the “sexiness” of any of these items, let’s be very clear that, while a solder gun may be a very dear and needed tool, it is not what I would consider a “sexy” piece of equipment. That said, I’m sure I will receive a slew of letters from techs who will argue the “sexy” of their Leatherman super tool and, in advance, I agree wholeheartedly, but like the other pieces I mentioned, it is a behind-the-scenes “sexy”; a quiet, unassuming “sexy” for those in the know.
These “sexy” behind-the-scene pieces of hardware are similar to the unassuming plain Jane girl who, at the end of the movie, removes her glasses, takes off the sweat suit and lets her hair down to reveal an amazing and stunning “sexy.” As a matter of fact, I have recently had the good fortune to play with a piece of gear that definitely falls into this category. The Furman F1500-UPS is the incredibly “sexy” yet inconspicuous uninterruptible power supply to which I refer.
Backstage Sexy
Other than surge protection, noise filtration and voltage protection, this piece comes armed with a nice digital readout that lets the viewer see if there is a voltage drop or surge as well as a readout of the remaining battery time after a power loss. I have had the unit in my PM5D power supply rack for the last month or so, and have begun to take it for granted. Fortunately during the time it has been in the rack there have been no power failures or surges that I can report, but the “sexy” part of the unit is that is has four banks of load outlets on the back of the unit. Each bank consists of two battery-powered SMP protected outlets. Two of the banks are for non-critical loads, the two others are for critical loads.
In the event of a power failure, an alarm will sound, and the front panel will display the cause of the problem, such as over-voltage, lost power or under voltage. The non-critical loads will then ensure uninterrupted power to these banks that will shut off when the battery drains to a pre-determined level, thus preserving the battery for the critical load outlets. The readout will also display the estimated remaining battery time as the non-critical loads shut down.
The F1500-UPS Uninterruptible Power Supply employs Furman’s innovative Series Multi-Stage Protection (SMP), Extreme Voltage Shutdown (EVS), and their exclusive Linear Filtering Technology (LiFT), which reduces AC line noise caused by switching supplies and SCRs (-40 dB @ 100 kHz). It regulates line AC between 90V and 140V to 120V. It provides 7.5A of emergency backup power for 12 minutes from a bank of batteries, and up to 32 minutes at half load, with a response time of less than 4 milliseconds. Its 72-pound 2RU chassis is 19 inches deep. On its backside are two pairs of Edison duplex outlets, with four outlets designated for critical loads, while the other two duplexes can programmed to turn off when the batteries reach a reserve percentage. Very sexy — if you like that sort of thing.
Pulling the Plug
Since we never experienced a power failure while on a gig, we decided to pull the power to see what would happen. Sure enough, according to plan (as outlined in the manual), the alarm sounded and the readout alerted us to lost power and the remaining battery time. The multi-stage shutdown is a great feature, but maybe a bit too “sexy” for our audio needs. I would, most likely, never really plug anything into the UPS other than the board power supply, but by using the computer software, one could actually program the unit to send standby or shutdown commands to independent sources such as DLP ceiling projectors, thereby turning off the lamp while the UPS continues to provide power to the cooling fans. As I said, the Furman F1500-UPS is one of those “sexy” pieces of gear you have to get to know with its hair down and glasses off.
