We recently did one of those shows where the budget is weak and you have to drive three to four hours to get to it. But it was a Wednesday night and the client — an agent and a personal friend of mine — needed a favor.
This was a gig that should have paid $7000 plus travel and meals, but it was paying more like $4500 plus travel and meals. We came to terms on what he would get for the money, with a little "gimme" for the act on my part to make everyone happy. We put together a basic system to cover 1500–1700 people in a ballroom, with the typical "client pays for meals and rooms" clause in the contract. My friend facilitated the introduction between his client (another agent) and me. At that point he stepped out and had us communicate directly.
About two weeks before the gig, the "new client" calls to tell me that he did not book our hotel rooms when he did the band contract. He simply forgot. He then offered an additional $150 to cover rooms for us. I was assured by this guy that it would be more than enough money. This seemed okay for one night and two guys.
We handed the problem off to Margo. I am not sure what Margo's "official" title at HAS Productions is: Secretary? Shipping and receiving? We have now added travel agent and, oh yeah, she's also an A-3. We dump a lot of crap on her on a day-to-day basis, and she cleans up a lot of mess for us. After a few hours on the phone, she informed me that the cheapest rooms in that particular town were running closer to $200. On a show that was already soft, as trivial as it seems, I was down another $50. I called the "new client" to inform him of this, and he of course said that we were crazy, as he got rooms in that town all the time for $50. I decided that fighting with him over $50 was not worth it.
By now I was getting irritated with this guy, but trying to "grin and bear it" for my buddy. A few days before the gig, "New Client" called needing lighting. You know the call: "Oh, the venue has some lights but not enough. Can you throw a few lights on the truck?"
I asked what a few lights were. Three? 50? 120? "Oh, like, 10 or 12," he said. I said, "Sure, and dimming, too?"
"No, we will just leave them on."
As a non-squint/lampy (disclaimer: we do lights, but I don't), what did I care if the artist looked bad and burned out? So I gave him a price for the lights.
"Uh… What?!? I asked you to just throw them on the truck!"
"Sorry, Mr. New Client, but I am not in the 'throw it on the truck' business. In fact, I am not in the 'throw it in' business, either."
Needless to say, we didn't bring lights.
At 4:00 pm the day before the show, as the truck was being loaded, this New Client called again. I looked at the caller ID on my phone, and my eye started to twitch.
"HAS Productions," I answered.
"Larry, please."
"Speaking," I said.
"Larry, it's New Client; make sure your guys eat a big breakfast, because I didn't get them any meals. Uh, I forgot. Sorry for the inconvenience." Say what?
Then he said, "Oops, I need to grab this call. I will call you back." Click!
I was now officially pissed. I sent him and my friend an e-mail saying what we all thought:
"Hey guys, if you called the band's manger and said, 'Uh, oops, I forgot to book your rooms,' he would say, 'We are not coming until you do.' If you said 'Uh, oops, I didn't get you any lights; I had no budget,' the band guy would say, 'No lights? No show.' If you said, 'Uh, well, I forgot to get your meals, so tell the drummer to eat a big breakfast,' the band would say, 'Piss off.' So my question is, 'Why is it okay to poop on the production crew?'
"You would never get away with any of that crap with the band. It always baffles me, the mentality that it's OK to shaft the crew."
I told them both we where not coming unless the meal issue was resolved. We had already played travel agent (not our job) and were prepared to take heat from the band crew on "New Client's" behalf about the lack of lighting. He wasn't going to be there for load-in, and band crews always complain to whoever is there. It doesn't make them asses; it just is what it is.
New Client was shocked.
"I can't believe this. I mean, can't they just go to McDonald's or something?"
"Yeah, if that's what they want," I said, "but you're paying for it."
Larry Hall owns HAS Productions in Las Vegas, NV. You can reach him at larryhall@fohonline.com.
