Howdy Anklebiters readers,
My esteemed colleague Brian Cassell is getting married and all that it entails, so at the suggestion of the Editor, I am writing this column with my imaginary friend to keep the conversational quality of the piece. I have decided to name my imaginary friend Gear Snob Rob. He is a smarter and more experienced sound engineer — a little jaded, because he’s a major tour guy.
In honor of Brian’s wedding, I recount a wedding situation I recently worked. Hope you enjoy it and send Brian well-wishes on his honeymoon, while he employs a part of his anatomy besides his ears!
Ken: Gear Snob Rob: Are you familiar with an instrument called a krar? That’s how I was told it was spelled. It is a stringed, almost-sitar-sounding thing that the player, when standing, holds up by a strap around the arm/wrist and strums/plays with the other hand. The notes of the krar are played by fingering the strings with the hand of the supporting arm. This gig was an East African wedding that ran two days and was quite a culture clash for my fairly Westernized ears. Did I mention that the event happened with two hours notice (no lie) and the advance guy answering my questions was a police officer friend of the bride? You ever walk into situations like that?
Gear Snob Rob: Yes, I’ve had my share of dealing with pressure-filled situations. Ever mix among 50k screaming fans?
Ken: No. Upon arriving, I check with the building guy about power and he tells me the last time they had entertainment, some band flipped the breakers 10 times. I am a little worried about my stuff. Most of the processing is protected, and the amps are good about shutting down if there is an issue, but I really don’t want to risk one of my bread-and-butter pieces on this gig. Since I have never destroyed anything electronic, I didn’t want this to be the test case for the “Lost, stolen or damaged” clause in my contract. Especially when English-speaking responsible parties were few and far between. Ever worry about this Rob?
Gear Snob Rob: No. I have a systems tech or two and dynamics and effects on my digital console. Do you know where the hospitality buffet is lo-cated?
Ken: Ah, no. We didn’t have a meal on this gig. Back to my story. With a little searching, we came up with two-and-a-half 20-amp circuits to use. Based on the police officer/advance guy’s information, I set the speakers at the front of the stage, facing the dance floor. We get everything, and I mean everything, plugged in and ready to go for sound check, and another guy walks in and says he wants the speakers on the wall with the wed-ding dais. I explained that that might be an issue with the wedding party, because the subs were literally two inches from their tables. And to top things off, the mains are facing perpendicular to the front edge of the stage. Needless to say, I was worried about this situation and the front vocal mics, but also the krars, which had pickups attached.
Gear Snob Rob: I have a buddy who recently did a fly date. He showed up and the Meyer rig and subs were flown behind the stage. Full band, four or five front line vocals. It is what it is. You come into a tough situation, you correct it if you can, or you deal with it.
Ken: Yeah, well we down-stacked and restacked the speakers, and I had just enough cable with me to do the job. I did lack the appropriate Ethio-pian/Eritrean break music. My whole point was, I came in, dealt with an unknown instrument and did a pretty good job! I kind of surprised myself when every one of the 400 guests was dancing in a circle, and they were all smiling. It made for a truly happy wedding, and I felt like we helped make it the special day it is supposed to be.
Gear Snob Rob: So you did your job? You’re a freakin’ superstar.
Ken: Hurry back, Brian!
To send Brian congratulations or to just vent, e-mail the guys at anklebiters@fohonline.com.
