Let’s face it. For most of us, the choice of a career in audio production rarely involves a traditional nine-to-five week. Travel, last-minute schedules, late (and/or extended) hours and weekend/holiday gigs are typically part of the audio lifestyle, and trying to juggle one’s personal life and career often becomes a delicate balancing act.
The Decision
There was a young man who was searching for God and seeking answers to his very important and profound questions. He spent all his time and energy trying to decide upon the best path he should take to reach his ultimate destination. Seeing his son’s distress, a father thought that the boy could use a break from all his angst and worry, so he invited his son to spend a day with him on his small boat just fishing and relaxing. They packed food and drinks and rowed out to the middle of a mountain lake near the father’s home. The son was his usual quiet self. But knowing that his son was wrestling with important questions, the father was compassionate and hoped that some clear mountain air and beautiful surroundings would help alleviate some of the son’s inner turmoil.
The day progressed leisurely until, at one point the father stood up to help his son unhook a small fish he had caught. The boat rocked and the father lost his balance and fell overboard. “Help me son, I can’t swim,” cried the father as he flailed about in the water. At that same moment, the son had an amazing revelation that to find God he should immediately join a certain church and — in doing so — would discover all the answers to his questions. The call was powerful and the son realized he had wasted much time in his deliberations, so without thinking about the situation at hand, he grabbed the oars and began to row back to shore as fast as possible so that he could join the church and not lose another moment being closer to God. As he rowed he could hear the screams of his drowning father, but there was no time to turn back, since he felt that his spiritual work was too important to delay.
Justification
My wife recently asked me to tell her this story again because she has a spiritual teacher who was telling her that his commitment to his work is so powerful that even when his father was dying he would not leave his job to go be by his side. His parents both lived overseas and implored their son to come home to see his dying father, but he kept refusing their requests. He espoused the dedication to his vocation and explained to his mother that his work was for the greater good and how he was selflessly helping many people. I told my wife that her spiritual leader’s story was indeed very similar to my story of the father and son on the boat. I advised her — in no uncertain terms —to run away from her spiritual leader as quickly as her corporeal little legs could carry her, as it appeared that said spiritual leader had some very serious issues.
Of course, my wife is still taking advice from her spiritual leader, which leads me to believe that in the case of her spiritual development, there is a good chance I will die a very lonely death. While my wretched demise is not a thought I care to entertain, there is the philosophical side of me that recognizes her abandonment of me as I pass onto the other side might just be a payback for all the times I left her at home while I had to go on the road. In my own defense, I wasn’t leaving on a golf outing with my buddies, it was part of my audio vocation to travel and it could be justified as being for the greater good, since I brought home money for the family. At the time, it seemed as though my reasoning was sound, but my life had changed and my priorities were being challenged. While I did recognize my new family obligations, it wasn’t until my daughter was about one year old that I began to reconsider my main concerns. One day as I was getting ready to leave again for an extended amount of time, my daughter blocked my exit with a barricade of toys in front of the door and said, “Daddy, don’t go!” Damn! Cute little kids can be such a game changer, but be that as it may, it did make me reassess the things that took precedence in my life.
Mild Insight
My kids are now adults, and certain responsibilities and aspects regarding my family and my personal life have again changed. So now I can reconsider my own needs and desires regarding the path I’m traveling. Of course, with great age comes great wisdom — at the least, perhaps mild insight — and from my vantage point, I get to see some of the people I work with having to grapple the same big decisions that I once faced. Some engineers are embarking on their first tours with great expectations and a touch of trepidation, while others are having families and trying to balance their work life with their new familial duties. There are those who have been in the business for a while who are still committed to placing their professional touring and gigging life over all else; and then there are those who are contemplating a complete change of life and/or career.
With my mild insight and many years of prioritizing, I can honestly say there is no right or wrong way to balance a career with one’s personal life. I have made my choices based upon my own particular situations, and while some of the options that I faced seem to be universal in their challenge, it is important to understand that these tests with which we are confronted are not multiple choice leading to one correct answer. There are many factors that determine how one’s personal balance is achieved, and the gray areas abound, but at each juncture in our lives, we find ourselves reassessing and prioritizing.
Money always seems to be a driving factor in our decisions, and the next “big gig” is always waiting for us just around the bend. However, if I can be so bold — using my well-earned mild insight — please indulge me when I say that while keeping an eye on the ever-elusive prize may maintain the dream, it is also in our best interests not to ignore the realities of our everyday lives.
Although it may not always appear to be the case, there are some very important things that happen to us all that do not include work or making money. While the latter two actions are of great importance, I suggest setting priorities so that you do not find yourself rowing to shore in search of the Holy Grail while there are more urgent needs demanding your attention.
A really wise man once said that when people are on their deathbed, they rarely say “I wish I could have spent more time at the office,” or, in our case, “I wish I could have done more gigs.” A wise man, indeed.
