A friend of mine equates the job of tour manager as “herding cats,” which is, at times, an accurate description. Why would anyone want to herd cats? It’s difficult, time consuming, and the cats don’t like it. In these days of shrinking budgets and smaller crews, we are often called upon to do more than one job on a tour. Engineer/tour manager is a popular combination. With luck, you’ll get paid more than you would if you were “only” mixing FOH or monitors while managing to keep your sanity. Hopefully, no cats will be harmed during the making of this movie. If the opportunity comes up for you to TM for the first time, here are some tips.
Rule 1: Get Paid
Seriously. Not your pay, silly; the band’s pay. This is more an issue with young bands playing in small shady clubs. Shady as in “I don’t know if we’ll get paid,” rather than shady as in: ‘It’s hot, and this place offers shelter from the sun.’ As we claw our way up the food chain (i.e. work better venues), this becomes less of a problem. Reputable promoters will put in a deposit and sometimes even send the balance to the office the day before the show. That’s one less thing to do on show day. When asking Mr. Shadee “When do you want to settle?” I’ve heard the reply: “How about once the band has gone on stage?” “Umm… my hands will be full of faders and I don’t want to do this in front of the audience, so unless you’re going to hand me a check which has been pre-approved by management, the answer is ‘No.’”
If you only learn one thing from reading this column, keep this one truth in mind: Once the band has performed, you and the band have no value. Your ace up the sleeve is the performance. It’s very uncomfortable, but on more than one occasion, I’ve said, “The office tells me I’m to settle before the show.” It’s silently understood that there will be no show without prior payment.
I recall the first time I was directed to settle in cash before the show. When I told the promoter this, he went through the roof, literally yelling and swearing at me (and management). I calmly said something to the effect of “Let me know when you’re done and you’re ready to do business, because it’s going happen before the show.” Said promoter settles down, takes me into his office and hands me a bundle of cash — which was not the correct amount. I counted twice, then three times. It was too little. Really? And you want to do this after the show? I don’t think so.
Note: If Rule 1 is not met, there are no other rules.
Rule 2: Get the Contract Face from the Office
The contract face usually shows the guarantee amount, deposit, balance due and “global” information such as date, venue, set length and pecking order of bands on the bill. It may also contain details that can bite you in the rear-end if you’re not paying attention, such as “promoter provides ground transportation to/from XXX airport.” I got one last week that provided ground transportation within a 30-mile radius of the venue. The closest airport is 87 miles away! Why bother? This is also where you’ll learn if the promoter is providing backline and hotel rooms (if not, get Priceline skills to work ASAP, because when fairs and festivals are in town, hotel rooms go quickly).
Rule 3: Always Have Some Cash on Hand
This is particularly important when doing fly dates. Grease keeps the wheels a-rolling, especially in light of the fact that airlines want to charge you for wearing your coat on a plane. I’m on a first-name basis with skycaps at some of the NYC- area airports. No joke. A few days ago we saw a gentleman who works at one of the local Delta Airlines terminals. He literally hugs me when he sees us. “Stevie, babeee, where we going today?” I kid you not. After he takes care of our bags and gear (read between the lines), he walks us to the front of the security line, tells the TSA to take us through immediately, and hugs us goodbye. True story. Definitely worth a few $$, and it can relieve some of the pressure if someone runs late. Plus, it puts a smile on your face.
Of course, you’ll need cash for other things, like tipping the hotel bellman for dragging 10 pieces of band gear into the bell closet at 2:00 a.m., or sending a runner for 9-volt batteries, or possibly bail money for that crew guy who likes to party too much. You might want to have a lot of singles for that guy…
Rule 4: A Thorough Advance Makes an Easy Day
I hate advancing shows. It makes me feel like I never have a day off. There’s always someone calling, asking about backline or merchandise or a meet-and-greet (like just now). The truth is, however, that it doesn’t take much time to do a thorough advance. The more detail you cover at home, the better the day runs. Dated information has a way of hanging around file cabinets. We recently had a debate with a backline company who quoted a price to the promoter based on a backline rider dated 2010. Really? It’s 2013. Don’t you think you should have spoken with us before you sent that quote? Don’t you think that maybe the backline rider has changed after three years? The pros always call us first. NV Rentals, Total Music, Speeda Sound, Onstage Services… these folks reach out months in advance and ask if anything has changed since last year, then call again a few weeks before the show. Totally pro.
Given a choice of mixing consoles, always go for the digital desk. Yeah, it’s nice to have a vintage analog desk, but the truth is that if you are TM’ing, you don’t have all day for a sound check. You need to be up and running ASAP so you can count in merch, check the status of tomorrow’s flights, or make sure that the catering is correct. Carry files with you on the appropriate memory cards (backed up to your laptop, of course) and don’t be afraid to let the house or systems engineer rough in the mix — or at least dial in the mic pre’s while you’re making sure the band has a ride back to the hotel.
Rule 5: Yelling and Screaming is a Last Resort
I’m amazed at the number of engineers and tour managers who walk into a gig with an attitude. For some people, it’s a way to get things done. I prefer to get things done with a smile. Once in a while, I’ll find out that my crew is getting a rough time from someone at a venue. If so, I usually ask Mr. Krankypants something like, “Is there a problem today? Is there a reason that my crew can’t get (fill in the blank)?” Usually the point is made before things become confrontational. I like using my line, “We can have a good day, or a bad day. The choice is yours.”
Rule 6: Watch Out for Sneaky People
Last week, we did a show at a venue that shall go unnamed. Everything was a problem for the production manager. The guest list was a problem. The schedule was a problem. Merchandise was a problem. We ran out of Red Bull in the dressing room, so I asked him for more. “I don’t have any here, it’ll take a half-hour to get some.” Really? There’s a bar 20 feet away, and the last time I checked, Red Bull and vodka was a really popular drink. He came back in five minutes with the Red Bull. The bottom line is that he didn’t want to be bothered and was hoping I’d tell him not to worry about it. Sorry. Get the *&^#$%^ Red Bull (see more on this topic in next month’s installment). And while you’re at it, tell your security goons to stop treating the band’s guests like criminals. This is me growling. Grrrrrrrr. Next month, we’ll investigate more of the mysteries of herding cats.
