This one's more of a "tale from the road" (Aerosmith's 2010 South American tour) than a "gig from hell"…
So, we got prescribed anti malaria meds for our trip through South America. Everyone on the crew got a big bottle of pills to take once a day for the duration of the trip. Not paying any attention whatsoever to the instructions on the bottle, I started taking my pills daily like everyone else. Now, some of the side effects of this drug include: severe dizziness, extreme depression, loss of memory, violent shakes, vivid dreams, extreme fear, paranoia and hallucinations. This is when taken in normal doses.
Each day I took a pill, and felt more and more bizarre – borderline tripping. I could not understand why everyone else on the crew felt normal, and I was beginning to feel very paranoid about it. I actually forgot how to walk and breath at the same time and fell down some stairs at the first gig.
On the eighth day, (eight pills later), I had a 45-minute conversation with the sofa in my hotel room about the immigration law that had just been passed in Arizona. Later, the sofa turned into a six-foot-tall yellow-and-black-checkered squid, then back to a sofa. I tried very hard not to notice.
The sofa (I did not catch its name) apparently was a dedicated Ronnie Dio fan. We both cried bitterly and spoke at length about the tremendous legacy of such an amazing talent. We decided that we were blessed to have had the opportunity to tour with Dio back in the day. It was strange that I did not remember the sofa/squid being one of the Dio crew members.
That evening, I diligently took my pill for the day and went to dinner with some of the backline guys from the Aero crew. I had a beer with my food, and that's when things got weird. The walk back to the hotel can be best described as a cartoonish free-for-all.
Upon returning to my room, the sofa/squid noticed that I was behaving abnormally. Out of concern, it suggested I go online to see if there were any known severe reactions to Mefloquine. After only minutes of research, (a.k.a. having a discussion with my laptop without actually typing), I found that each 250mg pill I was taking was rated for seven days of treatment. I was supposed to take one pill a week for 10 weeks.
Ironically, this is exactly what it said on the bottle, in rather large, foreboding letters. The bottle went on to say (oh yes, the bottle was actually talking at this point) that under no circumstances to take more than one pill in a seven-day period, or to mix with alcohol. I took nine weeks worth of junk in nine days, and washed it down with a pint.
I spoke with a "gig doctor," and she assured me that I will be high for the next two weeks, and to be sure not to jump out any windows or take any more pills. She also suggested that I learn to read in my free time.
Its funny how, when unplanned, a reaction like this can be terrifying, but in reality, a drinking night on the bus can be much more traumatic.
Stay safe out there, and always read the label!
Oh yeah, the boss said the last two shows were the best he has ever heard, go figure…I guess when your console looks and sounds like "Chairy" from the Pee Wee Herman show, it takes some of the pressure off.
-Bradley Johnson, stickmanracingsc@yahoo.com, KRF Audio, Newport WA
